Events in Week 11

I write a lot of papers. Pursuing a law degree and business degree at the same time will do that for you. You want to know a secret about writing papers? The hardest part is in constructing the thesis statement. Building and creating an argument over multiple pages, summoning facts to support it and turning phrases for it are all pretty easy and straight forward. But funneling that 45 page argument, facts and all, into a simple, coherent sentence is a practice in pure alchemy. Divining a precious metal from nothing but scrap.

But the value is, once you have that thesis statement, the rest of the paper, quite literally, writes it self. The bones, the organs, all the vital parts of your work are finished, all that is needed is a little fleshing out.

Our baby’s thesis statement is written.

How sad is that that the best analogy I could develop for the great milestone that our child has reached is a literary device I learned in the 7^th Grade?

The point is, Tyke has all of his bones and organs in their rudimentary form. All he needs is a little fleshing out. Although, I must admit, some of the LOCATIONS need some help. Take the ears. When all of you disease prone people out there get a head cold and have difficulty balancing the air pressure in your ears, normally it’s because mucus has plugged up something known as your auditory canal. This is the tube the links your ears and your mouth. Interestingly enough, it is also a railroad track of sorts. See, right now Tyke’s ears are located in his neck…right, like a freak. So over the course of the next three months these freak-like ears move up the neck and head to their rightful position.

Another tidbit of freakish anatomy is the current condition of Tyke’s intestines. Like many b-roll horror films, his intestines are currently flopping around outside of his abdominal cavity. ‘Sall right, they are supposed to be like that. They are just too large for his Olympian-esque body (hey, if you spent your whole day in a pool, like he does, you would have a body fit for the Olympics too). Currently, his intestines are mulling about part in his belly, part in the umbilical cord.

So, I have debated bringing up this bit of information about the developing baby, but I think it’s actually kinda interesting. First, have you ever seen Abyss? Well, if you have, there is a scene where one of the guys is literally drown in an oxygen rich fluid. While struggling to get free – thinking he is on his way to the Great Unknown – the icy calm scientist says “Calm down, calm down, your body breathed fluid for nine months. Give it time to remember!” Tyke, right now, is swallowing and breathing the amniotic fluid within the womb. It helps his lungs develop and is part of the automatic reflexes that we have coded into our very DNA (breathing, that is).

The second part is that the kidneys, bladder and, well, the whole urinary system is functioning now. So…ah…put the two together. Goo.

To be honest, and less…taboo, the amniotic fluid is continually replaced, like the water in a water park – too much like the water in a water park actually.

What is incredibly cool about this is two things. First, babies as young as 11 weeks – the current age of Tyke – have been seen on ultrasounds sucking their thumbs. So the whole swallowing thing is part and parcel of him growing up. Secondly, this movement and motion is vitally important in breastfeeding – an extracurricular activity we plan on enrolling our little tyke in as soon as possible.