And Now, a Word from Sam

Hello

Yes, I have been away. I am sorry, it's not my fault. Blame that pesky thing that mankind has invented. What was it called again? Oh yeah, the rat race. Sigh.

So, during the past several years I have been engaged in a mighty endeavor. However, I have decided that I am never going to solve this stupid Rubik cube - no matter how easy it is for my father-in-law and my brother - my mind just doesn't work that way, so I am giving it up. In exchange, Santa Clara University has granted me an doctorate in jurisprudence. That's right, I have a J.D. now.

The first question every one asks is: What's next. Answer: I donno. Dude, I just spent the last 22 years of my life engaged in scholarship. You think I KNOW how to look for a job? You gotta be kidding me right!

Let me tell you what I HAVE learned in the last few years:

1. Stupid citations (like, 12(b)(6)) are not just terms for vitamins. They can screw up your life.
2. Flabbergasted doesn't mean what you think it means. It's true meaning is "being appalled over how much weight you've gained." Also, Abdicate had nothing to do with a throne. Truly, it is the process of giving up any hope of ever having a flat stomach.
3. Money is the easiest thing to get in the world. All I had to do was fill out a FAFSA, file a tax return, provide my identity, sign my life away, enroll in a graduate program (the more the better), promise under penalty of death by paper cuts salved in citric acid that I will repay every penny plus some outrageous thing called "interest" and pretend I am interested in ever working for myself... wait. shoot.
4. Law School Tests are like natural disasters. You think you are ready for them until they hit you... with a brick... propelled at 60 miles an hour ... by an angry storm of cats ... on roller blades.
5. Staying up all night, three nights in a row to finish a paper on the legal permutations of executive compensation might seem like a good idea at the time - you might even put enough words on the paper to make it look like it is finished. You won't figure out until several days later that the last 6 pages of the paper read like this: "And that is combined by the totality of funny buggers in corporate halls of the city hall, also known as Bug Palace Supreme." I wonder how I still got a good grade in that class...

If you are lucky, I might give you some more tidbits of knowledge I gleamed from law school later...

But then I will bill you for it.

Spray 'n Wash

Henry is a water baby - no doubt about it. Seriously, fun with this little guy is a "just add water" adventure. It's kinda insane.

Here is a video of his obsession with the liquid play thing. What I like about this video is that Amber got on my case about bouncing balls off his head and now, here she is, practically waterboarding the little guy.

But we are good parents... really - we are.

Power Lunch

This weekend Amber and I introduced Henry to Rice Cereal, the first step to allowing him to eat us out of house and home.

He loves grabbing glasses and anything he can touch on a dinning room table, but, as you will shortly see, allowing food to go down his gullet is something a little foreign to him.

But he loves us and will always give us a good laugh.

The Explorations of Henry James

Henry James Harrison is now just over 4 months old. According to all of the books that I TOTALLY read, piled and dust-gathering on my bedside table, at around this age, little tykes start watching EVERYTHING.

To tell you the truth, it is kinda disconcerting. Here I am at the breakfast table, calming chomping on my old-fashioned oatmeal, complete with brown sugar and bananas (HEY -- don't knock it 'till you try it!), Henry just moments ago was calming starring at his toy rattle, telepathically ordering it to divulge its secrets of good taste and pleasing color schemes and all of a sudden I hear him squawking at me in his baby dinosaur voice. (Which he, also, recently developed.)

I look down and I find him wearing his angry eyes with clear, unmistakable designs on my latest bite of oatmeal/banana goodness.

The kid wouldn't know what to do with it if I did give it too him. All he has had in his digestive track has been mother's milk, formula, and a touch of root beer that we are still keeping between us so his mother doesn't find out.

It is clear to me that he has also been watching Amber. You see, Amber has developed quite the relationship with her water bottle. She carries it everywhere with her, constantly sucking down the clear, cold fluid. (Might have something to do with the fact that she gives up 20 to 24 ounces of her own fluids every day...).

I say he has been watching Amber because of what happened tonight. Calmly, Henry reached forth from my lap and took Amber's bottle in his hand. We, being the shutter-bug parents we are, had our camera right there and filmed this little gem:

What kills me -- what ABSOLUTELY KILLS ME -- is that Henry knows to put the straw in his mouth but after that... wha? no fluid in mouth? Am I doing this wrong?

Kids don't learn how to suck from straws for quite some time -- but, man, it's fun to watch a kid try and try... isn't it?

Week 32 - 8 Weeks Out

I can't palm it.

I tried, you know. The other day I put my hand on her belly and tried to palm it like a basketball.

Not that I can palm a basketball... but MAN, I am so much closer to palming a basketball than I am to palming her belly.

I get a kick out of it. I really do. My wife is the size of a beach ball and I absolutely LOVE it.

You know why? Cause that, my friend, is my boy growing big and strong inside her.

Mostly just big at this point.

What is kinda crazy is how he makes Amber's belly look totally possessed by alien bugs from Venus. It's insane. The other night Amber and I were talking, it was a serious talk and we were bashing our opinions against each other trying to come to a consensus. Right in the middle of a sentence I looked down and saw a golf ball size bulge emerge from her side and travel about 4 inches before subsiding again.

I was rather speechless. It was crazy. It was cool. It was totally unexpected.



We are having so much fun feeling the baby move and shift and kick Amber in the bladder. Okay, I guess I am having so much fun with that... Amber? Not so much. We are at the stage where her size and the extra weight is bearing down on her little frame. She is a trooper, though. Works like a ... er... workhorse, and then comes home and is the greatest wife ever.

Here is a quick photo of Jack.
We were taking the pictures of Amber and Jack
was feeling left out. So he came over and sat next to
Amber so he would be included.
Silly Jack.

FAQs

So I am supposed to be studying for my accounting midterm right now...I figured I could take a moment or two and answer a few of the questions that have been avalanching our inbox / comments / conversations and general day time experiences.

First - what does accounting have to do with law?

Ha - just kidding. I won't bore you with MY odyssey through Law and Business school.

First - When is your Due Date?

Amber is due June 10th...or 9th... or 11th... We have been getting slightly different days each time we go in for an ultrasound. But any of those three days are good because Business school finals are June 9th, 10th, and 11th...so the timing could not be better. Wait...rats.

Second - Is it a Boy or a Girl?

If the rocket ships weren't enough to tip you off... er... don't work for CSI.
Our child is a boy. We have had two ultrasounds where his man-parts have been clearly evident. Not to rub anyone's face in it, but I called it on the first day. Everyone was saying..."Oh Amber Amber, I just KNOW you will have a girl because...you have so many shoes..." (or something along those lines.) I don't know why I didn't get everyone coming up to me saying "Oh Sam, Sam, I know you will have a boy because you have so many...er..." Nevermind, I get it.

Third - Do you have any names?

Well, I do...but Amber says her uterus vetoes them. I don't see what is wrong with naming our first boy "William Preston" and our second boy "Theodore Logan"... and how did a uterus get a veto pen anyway?

The names are a tough call for us. Amber and I have different philosophies when it comes to naming. I want to burden our child with a name of legend that he would have to live up to. Something like "Winston Churchill" or "Abraham Lincoln" or "Jean-Luc Picard" whereas Amber prefers names that the child will actually like!!! Who gets a name they actually like?

Having said that, we have FINALLY started understanding each other when it comes to names. There are a few that both of us like... but you don't get to know them. My fault, really. When our good friends were naming their second daughter, they had picked out Mercedes -- which I really liked, I loved the character from Count of Monte Cristo... Being the insensitive guy that I am, I said one REALLY stupid joke ("So, when is Lexus due? Oh, I mean Mercedes") and POOF, their name was gone.

So I felt REALLY bad about that and decided that no one gets to ruin our names. So...poo poo to all you, you don't get to know em!

Anyway - if there are any other questions let me know. Thanks for following this great adventure with us!!!

Events in Week 11

I write a lot of papers. Pursuing a law degree and business degree at the same time will do that for you. You want to know a secret about writing papers? The hardest part is in constructing the thesis statement. Building and creating an argument over multiple pages, summoning facts to support it and turning phrases for it are all pretty easy and straight forward. But funneling that 45 page argument, facts and all, into a simple, coherent sentence is a practice in pure alchemy. Divining a precious metal from nothing but scrap.

But the value is, once you have that thesis statement, the rest of the paper, quite literally, writes it self. The bones, the organs, all the vital parts of your work are finished, all that is needed is a little fleshing out.

Our baby’s thesis statement is written.

How sad is that that the best analogy I could develop for the great milestone that our child has reached is a literary device I learned in the 7^th Grade?

The point is, Tyke has all of his bones and organs in their rudimentary form. All he needs is a little fleshing out. Although, I must admit, some of the LOCATIONS need some help. Take the ears. When all of you disease prone people out there get a head cold and have difficulty balancing the air pressure in your ears, normally it’s because mucus has plugged up something known as your auditory canal. This is the tube the links your ears and your mouth. Interestingly enough, it is also a railroad track of sorts. See, right now Tyke’s ears are located in his neck…right, like a freak. So over the course of the next three months these freak-like ears move up the neck and head to their rightful position.

Another tidbit of freakish anatomy is the current condition of Tyke’s intestines. Like many b-roll horror films, his intestines are currently flopping around outside of his abdominal cavity. ‘Sall right, they are supposed to be like that. They are just too large for his Olympian-esque body (hey, if you spent your whole day in a pool, like he does, you would have a body fit for the Olympics too). Currently, his intestines are mulling about part in his belly, part in the umbilical cord.

So, I have debated bringing up this bit of information about the developing baby, but I think it’s actually kinda interesting. First, have you ever seen Abyss? Well, if you have, there is a scene where one of the guys is literally drown in an oxygen rich fluid. While struggling to get free – thinking he is on his way to the Great Unknown – the icy calm scientist says “Calm down, calm down, your body breathed fluid for nine months. Give it time to remember!” Tyke, right now, is swallowing and breathing the amniotic fluid within the womb. It helps his lungs develop and is part of the automatic reflexes that we have coded into our very DNA (breathing, that is).

The second part is that the kidneys, bladder and, well, the whole urinary system is functioning now. So…ah…put the two together. Goo.

To be honest, and less…taboo, the amniotic fluid is continually replaced, like the water in a water park – too much like the water in a water park actually.

What is incredibly cool about this is two things. First, babies as young as 11 weeks – the current age of Tyke – have been seen on ultrasounds sucking their thumbs. So the whole swallowing thing is part and parcel of him growing up. Secondly, this movement and motion is vitally important in breastfeeding – an extracurricular activity we plan on enrolling our little tyke in as soon as possible.

The Additional Ninth Week Posting

Good Evening (imagined ala Alfred Hitchcock) -

First I wanted to let the blogosphere know of our appreciation for three (three and a half? oh three and TWO halves) of our very good friends. Cassi, Jarom, and Jennilyn spent their hard earned Saturday morning helping us wrap our fine china and valuable stainless silver in the latest edition of the Palo Alto Daily. Cassi and Jarom brought along their little chap Micheal and Jennilyn brought her bundle of silent happiness Maci. Let our thanks go out to our friends for their invaluable aid and assistance in helping us pack up our apartment! Oh and to Cassi for feeding our bellies!!


Second, I have a treat and surprise for our loyal followers. This afternoon, while cleaning my digital photo shoebox, I came across a picture that Amber and I took a few weeks ago. I thought it was quite clever and wanted to share such wonderful cleverness with you all. This was the ACTUAL test that told us our world was going to bracing for upheaval in the most wonderful way.

So long and thanks for all the fish!

The Ninth Week

Alright sports fans. Are you ready for the next update?

This week things are pretty straightforward. If the continuing development and growth of a fetus can be considered straightforward.

There are three great things happening within Amber’s belly right now. First, the baby is no longer living off of the yolk sack. The little one has a liver that is developed enough to produce blood so now, slowly and surely, small capillaries are snaking their way through the vaguely translucent skin bringing nutrients to every new cell of its body.

Part of the development of the circulatory system is the next thing that is / has happened. Our little child now has his third and fourth valve in his heart. These developments change the previous 2 chambered heart into a 4 chambered heart.

Another exciting milestone is that our youth has developed its neck enough to start moving it around. No, Amber hasn’t felt any movement, but eventually this little movement will be enough to allow the baby to suck its thumb…not that it WILL…just that it could.

So that’s it for this week. Tune in next time!

Week 8

Hello friends, family and funny people.

So this is the beginning of week 8 in the Chronicles of the First Born.

Amber and I talk all the time about our baby. What's he/she going to look like, whose nose (Amber's), whose eye lashes (mine) is he/she going to have and all sorts of vitally important things.


In fact, just today, after listening to a rousing 5 minutes of Dr. Laura (all I can handle in a sitting), Amber and I discussed whether or not we were going to have a curfew for senior prom. Not a curfew in general, but one specifically for senior prom. You know, that dance our seed will be attending in, oh, I donno, 17 years. I like to plan. Ahead. I like to plan ahead. WAY ahead. Keeps me active.

Anyway, so we were talking about it and - one way or another - I realized that everyday is made of victories and defeats. For me, today was one of victories. Not only did we manage to land a sweet gig as apartment managers, but I was also able to catch Amber in the act of referring to our little adventure-maker as a "he". YES! True victory, sweet tasting and OH so filling!

You must understand, Amber and I love children. Children of any sort. Short children, fat children, male and female children. Even children who smell like freshly roasted rubber - we love those too. BUT - we have a slight wager on the gender of our first born. Amber believes that with all of her shoes and shopping experience, we are sure to produce one of the fairer sex first. I - however - believe quite the contrary. Our child shall be a man. A mighty man equipped only with grunts and nods as modes of communication. A man who sees nothing wrong with eating dirt and playing with things that are sure to put an eye out. Yes, I yearn for a child whose very gender requires more expensive health insurance and will be known as "one of those Harrison boys"!

And today, while discussing the success of our Peter-in-the-pod in growing elbows and eye-flaps, Amber referred to him, as a HIM. SUCCESS!

But just so you know - we don't know the sex of the child yet. And, any way it turns out, I will be uncontrollably excited and happy. It's a baby, man, MY baby. Can you believe that?!?

So our little Master and Commander is growing up. If you take a look at your thumb, that top knuckle, the one just above the little curly black hair on your knuckles - between that and the tip of your nail gives you an rough approximation as to how big our young sire is. The book says he is somewhere between 1/2 and 3/4 of an inch big. He might be tiny, but he could still take you in a fight. He's a scrappy little guy.

In this developmental stage, a big accomplishment is that he has been given sight! Or at least, he is developing nerves in his retina so...eventually he will be able to see. And to round out his face a little more - he has the crest of his nose growing too. He is going to be a handsome little feller.

Anyway, I posted an image that I found on-line of an 8-week old. You might want to notice the digital and toe "rays" - finger and toe buds really - as well as the fact that the ears - inner and outer - are also developing. Evidently, that outer ear takes from now until he is born to be finished. Crazy complicated things, these bodies of ours.

So my child is growing. Larger and stronger and more impressive by the hour. Amber comes home on a daily basis with the feeling that she had climbed a mountain that day. And I don't blame her. Things like growing skeletons and heart valves, those take a lot of energy. Well done, Amber, your courage and effort for our family is always seen and appreciated.

Until next week!

Official...

Mom and Dad - Check
David and Hailey - Check
Jonathan and Tami - Check
Myself...Check
Amber...er...you know, I think she figured it out
Nathanael and Kirsten - Check
Cathryne - Check
Benjamin - Check
Elizabeth - Check
Joshua - Check

Okay - everyone in the family knows now so I can make the announcement official.

In 7 short months, there will be a little me running around terrorizing the world!!!
Thats right, folks, Amber is going to have a baby.

But Samuel, wait, Amber is only 2 months along! Isn't it a little early to make this earth shattering announcement official?

Well, yes. However, as some of you might have noticed...Amber is kinda tiny. That being said, with all the adjustments to her internal plumbing right now - she is already sporting a brand new baby bump. Complete with streamers and racing stripes.

We talked about it and decided that - more likely than not - anyone who sees her will begin to ask her that question dreaded by all women in their child-bearing years that AREN'T actually pregnant..."Are you pregnant?" So, to bring a rapid death to the otherwise resilient rumor mill, we are making it official.

Our first official appointment with the OB GYN isn't for another few weeks. However, by reading all the wonderful baby books and sapping the internet dry for information in fetal development - we can authoritatively say that our little spawn has heart that is beating, fingers webbed for faster 50 splits, and a great tail that will ensure he/she (HE!) will always land on his feet.

Anyway - Mazel Tov to me!