I did not create this, but just had to post, because it is so funny that while reading I laughed hysterically while alone at my desk and nearly spit diet coke out of my nose. Enjoy.
(Courtesy of babycenter Community, posted here.)
1. There are half-full, brightly-colored plastic cups on the floor in every room. Three are in the bathtub.
2 There's always that one girl bawling her eyes out in a corner.
3. It's best not to assume that the person closest to you has any control over their digestive function.
4. You sneak off to the bathroom knowing that as soon as you sit down, someone's going to start banging on the door.
5. Probably 80% of the stains on the furniture contain DNA.
6. You've got someone in your face at 3 a.m. looking for a drink.
7. There's definitely going to be a fight.
8. You're not sure whether anything you're doing is right, you just hope it won't get you arrested.
9. There are crumpled-up underpants everywhere.
10. You wake up wondering exactly how and when the person in bed with you got there.
11. Curtains are not guaranteed to stay on their rods. Curtain rods (and towel bars, family photos, door frames) will be ripped down from the walls, possibly multiple times, possibly leaving gaping holes.
12. There is someone who knows how to get that red drink out of the cream-colored carpet. There is also someone wondering whose brilliant idea it was to buy cream-colored carpet.
13. You have a tv theme song stuck in your head, and when you start singing it everyone joins in.
14. Sometime in the middle of the night someone slurs, "I want my mommy."
15. You are subjected to the same story 20 times.
16. You realize you are the one telling the same story 20 times.
17. You lie to your parents about what's going on at your place.
18. At least one person is lying on the floor, either face up or face down, singing at the top of their lungs.
19. The toilet is stopped up with too much toilet paper...
20. Your one goal is to get someone in bed and, when you're finally successful, you're so tired all you want to do is go to sleep
21. You ask the two nearly naked girls what they're doing and they say they're having a 'naked underwear party.'
22. Eating utensils are optional
23. Someone will be urinating in the front yard with their pants around their ankles. When done they will try to walk with their pants around their ankles. The whole time some old lady is staring out the window fingers ready to dial 911!
24. There's bound to be someone dancing naked in the front yard.
25. You never know when a fight will break out...something is always being broken and there is a lot of throwing up.
26. Oh, and often, for no reason, someone laughs uncontrollably for minutes on end.
27. All conversation occurs as though at least one of you has forgotten the language.
28. People can't climb the stairs without using their hands.
29. Because bras are hats
30. Phrases I never thought I would have to say aloud that might happen at a frat party:
1. Please, stop licking my leg.
2. You can't go outside in just your underwear and shoes.
3. Stop trying to lick my boob!
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